Always ask for consent
Consent is when people share their boundaries, ask about others’ boundaries and desires, and are given clear permission before a specific activity. Consent is clear, informed, voluntary, sober, act and person-specific, ongoing, active, and comes directly from the individual. It’s a mutual decision that people feel good about.
Ask for consent before
- Touching, hugging or kissing
- Any sexual activity
- Making sexual remarks
- Commenting on someone else’s body
- Taking or sharing photos of someone else
When it comes to any sexual activity, it’s everyone’s responsibility to seek and receive consent.
Consent must be:
- Informed – everyone needs to understand what they are agreeing to
- Voluntary – consent must be enthusiastic
- Given – consent is given freely and does not involve pressure, guilt, threats, or manipulation
- Sober – a person is unable to consent if they are incapacitated by drugs or alcohol or unconscious or sleeping
- Mutual – respect each other’s boundaries and make sure everyone involved feels good about the decision
- Ongoing – consent can be withdrawn at any point so keep checking in and ensure that your partner is still feeling comfortable and enjoying themselves
- Verbal or nonverbal – people communicate consent and non-consent in lots of indirect ways, like through body language, limited participation, or excuses.
- Drunk means no
- Later means no
- Silence means no
- No means no
How to ask for consent:
- Are you into this?
- Do you want me to…?
- Are you comfortable?
- Is this okay?
- Do you want to slow down?
- Do you want to go any further?